


this kiss

by dayishujia



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, M/M, Missing Scene, Second Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:51:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15976454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dayishujia/pseuds/dayishujia
Summary: The first time Ash kisses Eiji, it's in prison and a means to an end. This time, he wants to kiss Eiji just to kiss him.





	this kiss

**Author's Note:**

> not beta'd, any mistakes are my own.  
> if any are really bad, dm me and i'll fix it

The first time Ash kissed Eiji it was to slip him a message undetected in the visitors room of the prison.

The second time he kissed Eiji, it was because he wanted to. There wasn't a secret message or an ulterior motive. He wasn't asking Eiji for a favor and he wasn't doing it because only Eiji wanted him to.

He wanted to kiss Eiji.

Eiji was soft, sweet, the way he melted against him. Eiji's hands were gentle on his shoulders, as his own gripped Eiji’s forearms in a vice-like grip, his nails digging into his skin there.

 

Eiji had cooked him dinner. It was a lot of Japanese food that he wasn't familiar with but it was good and Ash ate more than he probably should have. They talked about their days, about whatever came into their heads.

Immediately after eating, Ash got to work, punching away at keys on his laptop, trying to get an edge on their enemies.

Eiji cleared the table quietly. Somewhere along the way, he had gotten used to Ash and his way of doing things, so he didn’t try to start a new conversation.

Once the table was cleared and the dishes were drying on the rack, Eiji checked on him but again and brought him a glass of water, but still didn't try to get his attention. Ash was thankful.

Before he knew it, it was past midnight. Ash leaned back in his chair and considered the computer, thought over his handiwork one more time, looking for weaknesses or loopholes.

Time had flown, unbeknownst to him, and suddenly he realized how tired he was, how the exhaustion settled into his bones.

Then he thought about Eiji.

Sweet, kind Eiji.

Ash figured Eiji had already given up on him and had gone to bed; tucked himself under the inch-thick blankets and fell asleep. So when Ash found Eiji sprawled over the couch in the living room, a thin blanket woven in between his legs, something in his heart clenched.

Eiji had waited for him.

The television was playing some late night talk show, the volume so low he almost couldn't hear it.

Ash stood tlat Eiji's feet, taking a moment to just look at him. The way he looked while sleeping was so peaceful, like they hadn't a care in the world.

Guilt about what he was doing to Eiji, keeping him there when he knew he'd be safer in Japan, wormed to the forefront of his heart. It was an always-present guilt, one that Ash would have to address eventually.

In the meantime, he squashed it.

Ash sat on the edge of the couch by Eijis knees and leaned over him. He gently jostled his arm to wake him, trying not to startle him.

When Eiji woke, he gazed so softly at Ash that something in his belly fluttered. But it only lasted a moment, until Eiji startled despite Ash's best efforts and sprung up to a seated position. “What's wrong?”

“Nothing's wrong, you fell asleep on the couch. Doesn't your neck hurt? You should've just gone to bed.”

Eiji visibly relaxed. He still quickly scanned the room, checking to see if Alex was there or any other sign something might be amiss or otherwise different than when he had fallen asleep. When he was satisfied that all was well, he yawned.

“I was waiting for you,” he said, by way of explanation.

Ash huffed. He could feel the warmth of a blush creeping up on his cheekbones, but he did his best to ignore it. “Why? Just go to sleep when you're tired.”

Eiji chuckled, knocking his shoulder against Ash’s. “But aren't you tired too?”

“I'm used to it.”

Eiji hummed. He shifted so his back rested against the pillows and said, in a way that left no room for argument, “I wanted to wait for you.”

Ash scoffed but the sentiment warmed him. Eiji was so sweet; no one else had ever waited up for him before.

Unadulterated adoration for his friend welled up inside him, warmed his heart and made his brain feel fuzzy. It was a strange feeling that left Ash speechless.

“Are you done working?” Eiji asked next, when it was clear Ash really wasn't going to try to argue with him. He stood up and stretched, making the hem of his shirt to rise just enough that a strip of skin showed.

Eiji reached out for Ash. “Let's go to bed.”

Instead of taking his hand, standing, or any of the numerous appropriate responses, all Ash could form was: “Can...can I kiss you?”

Eiji froze and Ash instantly regretted opening his mouth. It would have been better to say nothing at all, Ash silently lamented.

Now he had gone and ruined everything. Eiji surely would leave him now.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Ash all but shouted. He smoothed his palms over his pants. “Nevermind. Lets go sleep.”

Ash stood up and moved to walk away, away from Eiji and away from the conversation, but Eiji’s reflexes surprised him when his hand wrapped around his wrist. “No, wait --- what did you say?”

“I…” Ash rolled his bottom lip between his teeth. His face felt hot and he couldn't seem to find the words to explain himself as quickly as he usually could.

He bowed his head and said in a small voice, “I wanted to kiss you.” Then, louder, “Let's forget it.”

“Yes.”

“What?”

“I want to kiss you too.” Eiji spoke so quickly that the words came out sounding more like a jumbled up mess than a coherent sentence. “Can I kiss you, Ash?”

Ash slowly turned to face him, steeling himself for the conversation. “Wh….why would you want to do that?”

“Well…” Eiji paused, thinking over his next phrase. His cheeks were dusted pink, Ash noticed and he wondered if he was blushing like that too.

“People kiss those they like, right? I like you,” Eiji declared. “And sometimes, I want to kiss you.”

Ash couldn’t help himself but to ask, “ _‘Sometimes’_?” Eiji slapped his arm.

He sat back down on the sofa and brought Eiji down with him, just an arm’s length apart. He reached out and put his hands on Eiji’s forearms, holding him still.

Eiji let Ash grip his arms. If it hurt when Ash tensed, he didn't say. He just let Ash hold him as long as he wanted, just waiting patiently. His own hands rested on Ash’s forearms, thumbs gently caressing his skin in small circles.

For a moment, Ash just looked. He traced his eyes over the line of his nose, the curve of his lips. He noted each freckle on his cheeks.

“Are you sure?” Ash asked. His mind was put at ease when Eiji enthusiastically nodded.

When Ash leaned in the first time, his lips met the corner of Eiji's mouth.

Eiji sighed, like a weight was just lifted off of him and when Ash looked at him, his eyes were closed. Before Eiji had a moment to open them, Ash pressed his mouth to his again, capturing his full lips with his own.

He knew his hold on Eiji's arms was still tight and that he was going to leave bruises on Eiji’s fair arms but he didn’t know how to loosen his grip.

He was afraid that if he let go, Eiji might disappear.

When Eiji’s soft hands brushed against his neck, featherlight and gentle, something in Ash loosened. The touch was soothing, relaxing, assuring Ash that this was okay.

Eiji's hands came to rest on his shoulders. He didn't pull Ash, didn't try to control him or the kiss, he just held him.

Eiji smiled against his mouth and Ash wanted to cry.

Eiji pulled back just enough to kiss his upper lip, then asked, “Are you alright, Ash?”

“...m okay. Can I kiss you again?”

A lazy grin spread over Eiji's face. “As many times as you want.”

So Ash leaned in again and planted another kiss on him, square on the mouth, just because he could. It was chaste, just a firm press of lips, but Ash felt lightheaded and jittery.

One of Eiji's hand cupped his jaw, his fingertips pressing against his cheek.

Eiji's lips were soft as they moved against Ash's.

Eiji took control and gently guided Ash through the kiss, tilting his head to get a better angle. He captured his bottom lip and kissed it sweetly.

When they finally came up for air, Ash rested his forehead against Eiji's.

The hand that was against his cheek made its way to the back of his head, playing with the hair there in a way that Ash found surprisingly soothing.

“Still okay, Ash?” Eiji whispered between them.

“...m okay,” he repeated. “Thank you.”

“For what? Are you ready to sleep now?” Eiji waited just a touch longer before he stood and brought Ash up with him. “Let's sleep.”

 

The first time Ash kissed Eiji was out of necessity, to move along a scheme from within prison walls. Now, when he kisses Eiji, its because he wants to and because Eiji wants to, too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> yell about bananafish at me [here](http://misstchotchke.tumblr.com)


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